A brief encounter with a toxic person may take you hours to recover from the bad vibes they stir up in you. A toxic shop attendant, family member, friend, colleague, administrator, boss or life partner can ruin your day or life and make doing even the simple stuff feel like are a big hustle. No one is immune from encountering toxic people. However, you don’t have to drown in their dark world when they become toxic to you.
Even though all the people you interact with have both a good and bad side you have to deal with, there are particular people that are more harmful than they are helpful to you. Sometimes, such people will intentionally do you psychological harm – but there are other times when they can’t help it but to harm you.
How can you recognize a toxic person in your life?
- If your general motivation/energy levels/vibes drop around someone, they are likely to be a toxic person
- If a person triggers you to be reactive – especially hate and disdain over others then they’re likely to be toxic
- If they hurl insults and demeaning comments at you for the sake of crushing your feeling of self-worth, they’re definitely toxic
- If you’re dealing with a frenemy, their envy of you does you more harm than you can imagine
- If people you don’t actively interact with have a negative prejudice towards you and you can’t explain why they perceive you that way, you are being stabbed in the back by a ‘friend’
- Etc (If you got other examples, please feel free to share them with me)
There are cases where it’s not easy to recognise a toxic person in your life because they are so good at disguising this vice. Toxic people however have something in common: they create such an intense bittersweet feeling in you that you ain’t sure whether they’re harming you or not. They are also so good at apologizing and justifying their mistakes that you can’t help it but forgive them over and over again.
The most effective antidote to toxicity is to avoid such people where you can. For instance, you can avoid supermarket attendants you know to be toxic as well as spend less time with people that are not good for your mental health.
There are however cases where you have to live with toxicity – there are toxic people in your life who are kinda there to stay. In such cases, occasionally taking a breather/break from their presence goes a long way to preserve your sanity. After a toxic encounter, try techniques for calming your nerves such as taking in deep breaths, meditation, spending alone time to heal et cetera et cetera. This is important because you don’t want to start being toxic to other people and create a fresh stream of troubles for yourself.
All in all, toxicity is a burden you have to deal with from time to time. It’s a burden of humans for humans. And that’s why it’s important we learn to lead our lives to reach our goals.
You are the master of your fate, the captain of your soulHenry Ford
Lead your life to reach your goals; live deliberately.