Choosing from Tough Life Options: The Dilemma of a Twenty-Five Year Old

He is almost twenty-five (25) years old and time is running out for him. At twenty-seven (27), Saturn shall be at the exact position it was when he was born; He shall have completed the first cycle of his life. Beyond twenty-seven years, it will be harder to change some things or begin new ones. He has big dreams and hopes, but he has not accomplished much or set a foundation for the accomplishment of these dreams.

A number of his agemates are beginning to show signs of success. There are those who desire power – they are already sharing tables and platforms with the who-is-who. Those after being rich are grinding hard for the money. Some are already carving the paths to being the greatest in their factions. All these seem to be getting what they desire. They are on track with their goals.

However, most of his agemates are playing cat-and-mouse games in dating, working environments, and financial decision. Some are actually embracing short-cuts to success and already have a headstart in life. Some are already in debt while others are jumping from one job to the other. One can’t tell how long they will survive, but they are clearly zig-zagging rather than making progress.

Our friend is however stuck. He is doing almost nothing with his life. He has big hopes and big dreams. He is yet to see how to connect between where he is and where he wants to be in life. Our friend’s apparent dormancy is slowly becoming a frustration not only to him but also those around him. He is not sure of what to do and is afraid of failure. Fear and anxiety have paralyzed his life. But he must do something with his life regardless. Time is catching up and if he doesn’t do something soon enough, he risks being left out of life opportunities altogether.

What could be causing him the fears? As an observer, I presume that he is afraid of making new friends who will frustrate, criticize or distract him from his ambitions. He is also afraid that work may demand so much time and energy that he won’t be capable of developing his skills and plans towards goals. He may be afraid because, as an adult, every choice is a risky affair. What if he climbs a mountain only to realize that he has climbed the wrong one? It would be harder to recover from some choices, and one may spend the rest of their lives recovering from a single mistake. It’s the burden of adulthood.

Our friend needs help. He needs help on how to make tough choices. Can you help him?

This is what I think is best for him: First, he needs to act. He needs to do something with his life and his time. Secondly, he needs to get aligned with people and places that are relevant and helpful to the advancement of his goals. Third, he needs time to act (build skill and experience).

It is harder to make a decision from the outside. It’s is better to get in to a system and test one’s interests and capabilities. Speculating possibilities from outside will only create more fear of the unknown and unhelpful anxiety.

It is not guaranteed whether he will make it to the success he desires. If he persists, he will succeed. If he does not persist, any effort made towards a goal shall be a wasted time and energy (the reward comes only at the end of the journey).

He needs to lead his life to reach his goals. He needs to live deliberately.

 

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