UTOPIA.We all have for ourselves standards of how life should be. Chances are, the people you like match your ideals, and the opposite is true. Much of what we do is in the hope of: perfecting our image, getting the things we desire, doing all we have ever wanted to do, or going places where we have always wanted to be. Let’s admit it, these things are easier said than done. We find it easier to dream and hope than do what may make the dreams true. We live in an imperfect society, where success comes by going against the odds.

The life you live is a journey of getting from where you are to where you want to be. There is a lot of give-take and win-lose. Whatever you do in this life involves people. Your success or failure is affected by people, based on what they do or don’t do. From young age, you learn to depend upon others, and in the process, peg so much hope in dependent relationships. You are vulnerable to those people, especially when they do not see your dreams and hopes with an enthusiasm similar to yours. They can laugh easily, or treat lightly the things that matter to you. It easily detriments ambition.

Most of us, me included tend to sit back and comfort ourselves when life seems not to be in our favor. However, there is a small group of people who seem to make it against all odds. They win where we give up. Why wouldn’t they deserve enjoying the fruits of success? Why feel envious of them, when you could do what they did differently hence better results? You can also get better results, beginning with a paradigm shift.

1. What could you be doing that isn’t good for the results you desire?
2. What new skills/knowledge do you need to change outcome?
3. Is there something you need to give more attention, so as to improve outcome?

A paradigm shift is a quick fix in such instances, when things don’t work out as anticipated. You don’t have to play victim and blame fate because other people face similar challenges. Some win where you don’t. A paradigm shift would help you win like them. It is a process, and I have three suggestions I use in my affairs with people.

Be Clear on What you Want

It’s almost impossible to help or collaborate with someone whose mind is not made up on a matter. Similarly, your goals need a made-up mind to guide your thoughts, feelings and actions related to your goals.

Be Grateful

Bad moments hit you and their pain so intense you get conscious of it. You keep thinking over and over again, and the  negative thoughts become things-bad things in your life. A paradigm shift can be as simple as acknowledging the good things in your life. There so much good that has been around you for so long that you hardly notice it.

Be Simple

So much happens everyday and it definitely affects you. Over-thinking or making premature conclusions won’t make your life any easier. Challenges will come. Expect them. You will be disappointed. Be prepared. Obstacles shall rise. Accept them. All in all, don’t play boss over a person or situation, unless you have total control over it. Stay open-minded yet objective.

Start where you are, use what you have and do what you can

Arthur Ashe

When the going gets tough, there are people, books, places and websites to support you. People should not be an excuse for your life going wrong. They may affect your life path, but you are master of your fate, and captain of your soul. You have the power to control your thoughts.